schmidtgasm: i want to be reincarnated into scott disick
angelcasimiro: Woah. Scratch Dubstep!
me: that six-year-old is going to be hot when he's older
*looks at attractive celebrity*
me: my self-esteem hurts :(
friend: ugh i know me too
*holds each other and cries*
me: I wish this town would be hit with an epidemic of hot people asap
friend: yeah and you can be the cure to that
Theres a lot of fishes in the see but this pool is so shallow
someone at the door: rings doorbell
me: dives to the floor like I'm being shot at, army crawls around the couch, rolls into another room, peeks around a corner to see if I can tell who it is, and then proceeds to wait for them to leave.
When I get my own place by myself and one night there’s a spider. I’m fucking fucked.
I am one of those awesome people who leave their WIFI unlocked for all you socially awkward people :)
Scott: Are you sitting next to your girlfriend again?
Mason: It's Spencer, daddy.
Scott: Yeah, What about her? is she cute?
Mason: Yeah, I love her.
Teacher : You failed the test.
Student : You failed to educate.